Today, I Celebrate

May 17, 2010

A year and a half ago, I didn’t know that women chose not to breastfeed. I thought if a women and child did not have a breastfeeding relationship it was because it wasn’t possible for one or the other. At the time, I chose to breastfeed as long as my baby and I were both willing and able to do so. Little did I know how much time I would spend snuggling Penny up to me – for sustenance, for ‘us’ time, for love.

I have never regretted breastfeeding, although at times I missed having my breasts belong to ME. At first, I spent so much time nursing Penny that I thought I did little else. Over time the frequency diminished until I went back to work in December. After a couple of weeks of struggling to nurse her every morning and every night, I cut out our evening session. We’ve both been happy to meet in my bed every morning before we start our day, and lie tummy to tummy while she suckled away. Her hands never stopped, always playing with the blankets, my bra, a toy, her toes, the dog or her daddy if he was home. But she knew what she wanted and her mouth never let go until she was done.

But that part of our relationship has come to a close. Over the last few days Penny has only nursed for a few seconds before rolling over and energetically starting her day. Today, she wouldn’t suck at all. So now, while I mourn the loss of that intimacy with her, I celebrate instead because my little girl is growing. I know that we will continue to find time for Mummy and Penny to snuggle, and I steal probably a thousand kisses from her in a day. I now get that half hour of morning back when we need it, and by golly my boobs belong to ME again! Well, and to Court too ;)



  1. It’s so great that you chose to breastfeed, and then followed Penny’s cues for when to wean. She’s a lucky little girl, indeed.

  2. I remember that moment when my kids stopped nursing. I let them both wean themselves and both of them weaned quite young (much earlier than I ever thought would happen). It took me a little while to let that sadness go. But I did, and they still let me cuddle them. Although even that is changing with my son. So I cuddle and kiss as much as I can.

  3. You get your boobies back! I know it’s bittersweet but congratulations! I’m hoping that Avery will self-wean soon. I’m so done. I miss you.

  4. Oh, Nicole, it’s so good to see you post. I miss you, too. Enjoy your time in the morning. I hope you and Court really enjoy your boobies! Hugs & kisses to Penny!

  5. Hi Nicole,
    I am just catching up on some of your blog entries… it’s a happy and sad feeling (at the same time!) when your own child decides to self-wean eh? Lily just stopped nursing at almost 18 months (because of my pregnancy) and as much as I am happy to have my full body back (for a short while anyways) it makes me sad to think that I can’t comfort Lily in the same way anymore. BUT, she still is my little girl and comes snuggling with me as often as she wants and she knows that there is a baby in me (not sure of her level of comprehension though, haha) and then she says that my breasts are for the new baby.
    So nice to get back into the blog world, I’m coming back soon twitter ;-)

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