Archive for September, 2009

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DeviantArt on Display

September 21, 2009

Look_by_no_existence87

Look by *no-existence87

A small note about DeviantArt on Display: I have saved all of the artwork and uploaded to this blog simply because it only takes one person reporting this art as offensive for it to be removed from DeviantArt.com. They are beautiful, not offensive. This is why I am displaying them here.

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Daddy, it hurts

September 18, 2009

My name is Chris.
I am three.
My eyes are swollen.
I cannot see.

I must be stupid,
I must be bad.
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,
I wish I weren’t ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.

I cant do a wrong.
I cant speak at all,
Or else i’m locked up
All day long.

When I’m awake,
I’m all alone.
The house is dark,
My folks aren’t home.

When my mommy does come home
I’ll try and be nice,
So maybe I’ll just get
One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car.
My daddy is back
From Charlies bar.

I hear him curse,
My name is called.
I press myself
Against the wall.

I try to hide
From his evil eyes.
I’m so afraid now,
I’m starting to cry.

He finds me weeping,
Calls me ugly words.
He says its my fault,
He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me,
And yells at me more,
I finally get free,
And run to the door.

He’s already locked it,
And I start to bawl.
He takes me, and throws me,
Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.

‘I’m sorry!’, I scream,
But its now much too late.
His face has been twisted
Into an unimaginable shape.

The hurt and the pain,
Again, and again.
Oh please, God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops,
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless,
Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Chris,
I am three.
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me.

From an email I received this morning. It asked to be passed on, like a chain letter. But I don’t have many email addresses. I come into more contact with people online so I wanted to share it this way.

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So Many Helpful People!

September 18, 2009

Some of you may know that I have had trouble with breastfeeding in the last two weeks. Penny’s upper front teeth have finally broken through, and well… they’re rubbing me raw. She’s not biting me, and she doesn’t mean to hurt me. But over the last 8 months we’ve both become lazy with breastfeeding and her latch has suffered. When her latch suffers, I suffer!

I am not pain-free yet, but I’m making a great recovery, thanks to many people. All of the following ladies helped me with advice and suggestions on Twitter: @PeppermintPam, @zealandsmom, @BrookleenJ, @dsandbrand, @ckpwong, @bfmom, @DagmarBleasdale, @devaskyla, @AVeryGoodYear, and @fentonslee.

I also spoke to Melissa, aka Birth_Lactation by email. That lady is an utter fount of knowledge! She wished she had more suggestions for me, but didn’t have her books with her. But her list of suggestions was amazing! So many different positions to try that I had never heard of and never in my life would have thought of. Melissa and Melodie from Breastfeeding Moms Unite have an Ask an LC column they started recently. I definitely recommend reading the questions! Even better, subscribe to Breastfeeding Moms Unite and you’ll never miss a question.

This Wednesday, I got to be a Breastfeeding Demonstrator for a class of future maternity nurses. Well, what an opportunity that was! 2 other mothers and I got to speak to the class about our labour and delivery experiences, and how breastfeeding has been for us. We got to talk about problems we faced, the lack of support for breastfeeding, and so many other things. The message I wanted to pass to the class is that new moms in the maternity ward aren’t exactly in the best state of mind. Yes, sometimes you need to be forceful with them. But there is never a need to be a bully. I guarantee if you bully a new mom, that is one aspect of her experience that she will always remember – even if she doesn’t remember your name or what you bullied her about. Well, not only did I pass that on, I got to show the class exactly what it’s like to feed a newborn – with a few added pounds. With my painful nipple, and Penny’s poor latch, it was just like we were in the hospital when Penny was born. I needed to swaddle her nice and tight, like a little burrito. And I needed to put her up on top of a nursing pillow again. I haven’t used a nursing pillow since Penny was 6 weeks old.

And how did I go about getting the gig of demonstrating breastfeeding? My La Leche League leader (who facilitated my class to quit smoking last summer) asked for volunteers! She teaches the nursing class as well as everything else she does – quite the amazing woman really. Of course, being a LLL leader, she also gave me a few suggestions to help out with the bad latch thing.

All of these ladies were so helpful. For Fanfare Friday, I want to thank all of them! They encouraged and sympathized, cheered me on and calmed me down. I came so close to weaning Penny because a) the pain was so bad b) the pain wouldn’t stop even after a week. All of these ladies were tremendous in helping Penny and I continue our breastfeeding relationship. Thank you!

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DeviantArt on Display

September 14, 2009

breastfeed_by_Seveth

breastfeed by ~Seveth

A small note about DeviantArt on Display: I have saved all of the artwork and uploaded to this blog simply because it only takes one person reporting this art as offensive for it to be removed from DeviantArt.com. They are beautiful, not offensive. This is why I am displaying them here.

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Thinking About Working

September 8, 2009

I’m not even going to touch on American moms returning to work. We know the situation is pretty bad for most of them – ranging from 6 weeks government-covered leave, up to maybe a year. But more likely about 12 weeks for most moms.

Here in Canada, we get a year. Yep, that’s right. 52 weeks. That’s 12 weeks of maternity leave that the mother gets pretty much no matter what. And 38 weeks of parental leave, which can be split between mom and dad to whatever degree they’d like. And 2 weeks is just an unpaid waiting period to start getting your EI payments. The pay is a maximum of 55% of your earnings (we won’t get into the nitty gritty details of working out how much you get). Unless you were self-employed. In that case you get squat.

I’m one of the lucky ones. I have a full year entitled to me, and since I was working a pretty decent job for the year before I got pregnant, it works out that I get about $1400 a month (no I’m not scared to say what I get – the government can’t fire me for breaching their confidence). That’s not a huge hardship to us, and I actually find I spend less money now than when I was working. OK, that’s not completely true – you darn Etsy shop owners and your cute diapers! Now I can go for days without even leaving the house, where before I ate out usually at least once a day.

So if I have it so good and I enjoy my time at home with Penny, why on earth am I job hunting?

Nevermind the idea of leaving her – we’re moving to the other end of the city at the end of November. How would childcare work if I found a job now? Would I look for something close to where we are now that I could use for 2 or 3 months? Or do I look for something permanent close to our new home and have to drive there EVERY morning until we move?

Returning to work is an issue that I haven’t wanted to touch with a 50 foot pole AND a hazmat suit. I don’t know what I want to do. First of all, I don’t have a job to go back to. I left my secure job when I was 5 months pregnant, and worked a temporary contract job for 4 months. I could go back to the same industry, but when we’re talking about an industry like newspapers, there’s only so many places you can go in any given city. I thought about starting my own business doing marketing products, mostly for real estate agents to advertise their listings and services. But I don’t have any money saved for that (and have I mentioned we’re building a new house?) and I don’t know how to go about getting funding. I thought about just doing my graphics work (see the links in my right hand bar for that), but I can’t see myself doing $1400 worth of graphics work every month, and we need AT LEAST that to be able to survive in our new house. So that leaves a job. Like a leave-the-house, someone-else-takes-care-of-Penny kind of job. So, do I look for a ‘real’ job where I make the kind of money I was before I got pregnant, generally a 9 to 5 kind of office-y job? Or I thought about a part time job where I’d have some flexibility in my scheduling. But if I go that route, chances are I’d be making like $10 an hour. I even considered childcare or house cleaning. But honestly, if I can’t be bothered to keep my own house clean, who in their right mind would pay me to clean theirs? As for childcare, it’s a possibility, but not a very strong one. I could see myself looking after one other child. But I don’t have any sort of accreditation or training. In this day and age, people just don’t willy-nilly hand over their kid to someone with no experience.

Well, out of all of that, I found a job posting last night. It’s the best of all worlds – partly the graphics I want to do, partly dealing with real estate. So I applied. I redid my resume, I wrote a whole new cover letter. I’m enthusiastic about the job and what it entails. I’m thrilled that the employer will consider somewhat of a flexible schedule – after all, real estate is not a 9 to 5 industry. I got advice from you, my friends. And I applied. It sounds like the money would be good. I think the employer would be great – as befitting a top realtor in the city.

I’m not going to think about the childcare issue until I get an interview and get offered the job. Same thing – I’m not going to think about the breastfeeding thing until I know either. I would feel comfortable weaning Penny during the day and still nursing in the morning, evening and overnight. But does she need to be given formula with her meals during the day then? I don’t want to give her formula, so then I’d need to look at renting a pump again. Then I’d have to deal with the pumping at work thing. So I’m just not sure about some things.

But in the end, I am really hopeful about this job. It would be a wonderful opportunity for me, and I can totally do everything they’re asking. So cross your fingers, wish me luck, and of course – leave me any childcare or pumping at work advice!

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DeviantArt on Display

September 7, 2009

Baby_Looks_Up_by_dlh1029

Baby Looks Up by ~dlh1029

A small note about DeviantArt on Display: I have saved all of the artwork and uploaded to this blog simply because it only takes one person reporting this art as offensive for it to be removed from DeviantArt.com. They are beautiful, not offensive. This is why I am displaying them here.

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Newly Wed Newly Bred Diaper Swap Button Code

September 6, 2009

For Mom2ChunkyMonkey

<center><a href="http://bit.ly/nw0Q" target="_blank"><img border="0" alt="Newly Wed Newly Bred" src="http://members.shaw.ca/nicolemarr/NWNB_diaperswap.png"/></a><br/>
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For the Diaper Swap Participants

<a href="http://bit.ly/nw0Q" target="_blank"><img border="0" alt="Newly Wed Newly Bred" src="http://members.shaw.ca/nicolemarr/NWNB_diaperswap.png"/>