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Games

May 15, 2009

I am saving my poems and other writing from an old Geocities website as they are about to shut down Geocities. I don’t have dates of when I wrote these, but 1995-1998 sounds about right. So please don’t just the immaturity of these to be who I am now.

I don’t know what to do
I don’t know what to say
Everything I try
You shun me away

I ask quesitons
No one can answer
No one, that is
Other than me

I know myself
At least I should
But at this point
You know me better

You have me where
You want me
Sitting pretty
In the palm of your hand

What you’re doing
I don’t know
I’m waiting for your move
It’ll happen sooner or later

I know what it’ll be
Or I think I do
But when you make it
It’ll still surprise me

I know what I want
But it’s untouchable
I know you know it’s you
But you’ve climbed onto a pedestal

You have me on a leash
Of the strongest fibres
I can’t break it
As hard as I try

You use it to your advantage
You know I’m boxed in
You’ve apologized
But I know you’ll do it again

You said you don’t want to hurt me
You never meant to
But the fact is, you did
And now I’m scarred

Yes, some scars heal
I know this one can
But I have a feeling
The scars will become repeats

They may heal over time
But as they do
New scars will be lain
Over the old

The deepest scars
Never heal
The pain will
Never go away

Can’t you see
What you’re doing?
Or is it all a game?
Are you playing me for a fool?

We already know I’m a fool
Do you have to prove it?
Is it all a show?
“I’ve screwed up another one!”

It’s getting worse
After everything I’ve tried
What if I found a way
To wash it all aside?

What’ll I do if you touch me
With soft fingertips?
The words try to spill
Like fire from my lips

If you say come inside
I’d come in for you
If you said give it all
I’d give you the moon

I know you can see
Through my disguise
I know what I do
Is all I lie

I want you back
But I can’t have you
No! It’s not that I can’t
I won’t!

You know what
Buttons to push
You know
My Achille’s Heel

You use that fact
You’ve used me
Whether you know it or not
And it hurts

Stop the games!
The heart is not a toy
You say so yourself
So take me out of you toybox,
please?

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