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Fire & Ice

May 15, 2009

I am saving my poems and other writing from an old Geocities website as they are about to shut down Geocities. I don’t have dates of when I wrote these, but 1995-1998 sounds about right. So please don’t just the immaturity of these to be who I am now.

My heart is cold
a block of ice
With a crack down
the middle

I need heat
and warmth
But everywhere I turn
I see glaciers

Is it a little too much
to ask
For a little fire
in my life?

All I’ve seen
is pain and death
Fear and heartbreak
Reign in my world

I need to trust
to be loved
To live my life
without bitterness

But every event
in my memory
Reminds me of
the anger

The anger of
being abandoned
Used and
abused

Whiplashes
deep scars
Silver shards
Criss-cross my heart

When I feel heat
and feel like melting
My heart screams
of the memories

For once in
my life
The screams fall
on deaf ears

My mind is on
a single track now
But my heart
says no!

I need the love
but I can’t be loved
Love is pain
And I don’t want to hurt you

I’m not worried
about me
But worried about
you

I’ve left hearts
cold and bitter
Burned and scorched
broken and shattered

I’m sick of the mess
I’m tired of healing
other’s wounds
Where’s MY doctor?

I’ve gone through
thick and thin
I’ve made it through
beaten but not broken

Will that ever be
recognized?
Doesn’t that stand
for anything?

Can I ever let
myself love again?
I think it’s a little too late
to ask that question

We all know the
answer to that
And know the
results

Of the fact
that I can love again
But why did it have to be
now?

Why did I have
to choose you?
Why did I pick
a kindred soul?

How can you melt
ice with ice?
I just don’t
think it’s possible

But I do love again
and I love my
kindred soul
All I can do is try

A heart made of ice
is no way to live
But if you want to
let me warm you

Melt ice with fire
it’s the only way
It may not be me
and it may not be now

But it’s the only way
to break the ice
And if you’ll let me
I’d like to try

If it doesn’t work
Que sera, sera

It may not be love
but friendship will
prevail
for eternity

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